Some say that falling out of love is more like hard work, but it has to be said that a surprising number of relationships fall to pieces over the same mistakes.
These 10 ways to lose your lover are frighteningly common reasons stated by couples as to why they fell out of love with their partner and decided to go their separate ways.
10. War Of The Wallets
If there’s a more contentious topic in relationships, we have no idea what it is. Don’t get to warring over finances, take the time early in a relationship and set out clear limits and boundaries along with complete financial transparency. Otherwise, sooner or later the want of a few bucks could derail your love.
9. Passive-Aggressive Behavior With Your Partner
Disagreements and moments of upset are normal in any relationship. Responding to those moments with passive-aggressive behavior towards your partner are not good, though. Have the courage to air your issues and try and work on them together if you want things to last. Letting resentment seethe isn’t healthy.
8. “I Told You So” Drives People Insane
While it’s always nice to know that we were right and that our partner could have avoided a mistake if they had listened, it’s not nice to rub their face in that fact. Saying or even implying “I told you so” can quickly put somebody’s back up and leave them feeling unloved.
7. Not Repaying Their Trust In You
At the heart of every relationship is simply a bond of trust. It’s the emotional device by which we extend love, compassion and care for someone else. If you play fast and loose with someone’s trust, sooner or later that trust dies and with it, the relationship dies.
6. Letting The Green-Eyed Monster In
Jealousy is the monster that destroys the trust in relationships. If you can’t trust your partner to do the right thing and you keep letting them know that, their trust will wither and die too. If you find you can’t control your jealousy, seek counseling if you want to keep your lover.
5. A Lack Of Generosity
Generosity comes in many forms, and not just financial – you can be generous with your time, with your emotions and with your attention. Failing to make your partner feel special by being generous is a great way to make them feel unloved and uncared for and that’s a recipe for relationship’s end.
4. Picking Your Parents Over Your Partner
Hey, you’re with them 24 hours a day. Of course your parents are special to you, but when it comes to taking sides in a dispute, your job is to line up with the person who shares your life, unless you want them to leave you. In which case, pick your parents.
3. Lying About The Small Stuff
Honesty is part of the pattern of trust in a relationship. Somebody who lies about the small details will lie about the big ones. If you keep getting caught in a lie by your partner, you’re going to burn through their trust in no time at all. Be honest all the time.
2. Cacophony Over Chores
A relationship is most of all a partnership. You’re supposed to do your fair share and your partner is supposed to do theirs. Falling out over the chores shows that one of you isn’t pulling their weight properly and a row is waiting for you just round the corner.
1. Too Much Small Detail
There are battles that are worth fighting in a relationship but nobody wants to be in a constant battle. You need to let some of the small stuff go rather than carry it around and use it against your partner. If they leave the cap off the toothpaste tube, forget about it, put the cap on and don’t turn it into a fight.
If you want to safeguard your relationships against eventual failure, you could do much worse than try and eliminate these 10 traits from your current or next relationship.
It shouldn’t be hard. These things are all the mark of mature adults. If you think that you lack the confidence to address them or don’t know how to address them, you can always talk to a counselor.
They can help you design coping strategies and ways to ensure that you keep your lover at the forefront of your relationship and kick silly pettiness to the curb. Then you won’t lose your lover at all.