You’re Too Drunk To Text When These Things Happen

Picture this: You’re drunk. Maybe you’re thinking about all the good times you had with your ex? Perhaps you’d just like to hear how they’re doing? Eh, sometimes drinking and texting simply don’t mix.

If you want to avoid waking up to texts that you regret sending, then you need to read this list. These are fifteen signs that you’re just too drunk to text!

15. You Know You’re Drunk!


Sometimes, you just know that you’re wasted. You may not be able to remember how many drinks you had, but you know that you shouldn’t be texting…

14. You Feel Like You Need To Lie Down


If you’re at that point in the night where you think you should take a nap, then you’re too far gone to be texting your ex—and probably anyone else, for that matter.

13. You’re Crying

Perez Hilton

Don’t worry, we’ve all been here… but if you’re crying, you’re already a drunk mess. Don’t make it worse by texting your ex!

12. You’ve Tripped Or Fallen Over


If you’ve tripped or fallen down because of all the drinks you’ve had, then you can’t handle a phone. Those things are expensive and you’ll probably drop it, anyway!

11. You’ve Had To Give Yourself A Bathroom Pep Talk


Sometimes you have to give yourself a little bathroom pep talk to hold all your drinks together. If you have to do this, then you’re too drunk for good hand-eye coordination.

Same goes for the next sign on the list…

10. You Need To Close One Eye To Text

If you’re so drunk you need to close one eye to even see the screen and what you’re texting, you should maybe just put the phone down.

At least your phone helps you with the next item on the list…

9. You’ve Been Locked Out Of Your Phone


Can’t remember the password? Well, that’s good for you. Thanks to your alcohol-induced short term memory loss, you won’t be waking up to any embarrassing texts.

8. Your Friend Has Tried To Take Your Phone Away

Tell You All

Let your friend be a good friend if they’re reaching for your phone. This could save you a lot of regrets the next day.

7. You’re Autocorrect Is Confused


When your own mini computer doesn’t even understand what you’re trying to say, you should wait until you can spellll words and make decently formed sententences.

6. Your Drunk Goggles Are On


Is that guy in the corner of the bar looking cuter than he did when you first started drinking? Then don’t text, because you’re probably wearing a pair of beer goggles.

5. You’ve Been Handed A Glass Of Water

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If a friend—or even worse, a bartender or stranger—has handed you a glass of water, then you should drink it all. Oh, and ignore your phone.

4. You’ve Spilled Your Drink

Complex Poet

Hey, we all make mistakes. But you shouldn’t be texting if you’ve spilled multiple drinks and you didn’t even notice or care at all.

The last three signs should not be ignored!

3. You’ve Fought With A Stranger

Night Club Security

You definitely don’t need to be texting if you’ve been in a bar fight with someone—or even a heated discussion, really. Cool down and drink some water, bro.

2. You Want To Text An Ex

Thought Catalog

So, you’ve had a few drinks and you want to get in touch with an ex and ask how things are going.

STOP! This is never a good idea.

1. You’ve Thrown Up


You want to text that cute boy you met at the bar, but your head’s been in the toilet for 20 minutes. This is your body telling you to close up shop and put down that phone for the night.


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