Weird And Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

They say romance is dead but, judging by these vintage cards it could be a good thing. Have you ever shot at your partner for forgetting to give you a card on Valentine’s Day?

Well, they might have done you a favor. Especially if it was one of these weird and creepy vintage Valentine’s day cards. Let’s be thankful they have enough common sense and didn’t choose to celebrate their love for you with one of these disastrous vintage cards.

Presumably, our ancestors showed their feelings with questionably cute animals and creepy-looking children, as well as a load of terrible puns and slightly disturbing messages.

Thank god they don’t make these Valentine’s day card like they used to. The love notes they wrote in the early 20th century were much more romantic and interesting than the cookie-cutter pop culture cards lovers give today. In fact, some of them were deliciously strange. Let’s take a look back at the past of printed love.

12. Juice Me

We’re not sure if this card is advertising a juicer for Valentine’s day or has a different meaning altogether? Yes, we love our refreshing lemonades but we think this vintage card wants to juice something else. Just hope that the father of your valentine won’t see this or else you’ll be the one juiced up.

11. Wandering Eyes

Hugging may be romantic, but this guy has got his eyes somewhere else. His Valentine is looking at him lovingly in the eye, but he has his eye on other parts of her body. They may look innocent, but there’s nothing innocent about this guy. The message is even more disturbing. This looks like a crime waiting to happen.

10. Headache

The creators of these vintage cards are kinda violent, don’t you think? If this existed today, it would probably be considered as a death threat. How primitive and barbaric is this? Fred Flinstone would probably appreciate this but for us, it’s just plain weird and creepy.

9. Dead Horse

These young lad and lady looks very prim and proper but we wonder why you need to pull out a dead horse’s heart just to show your affection? They don’t look like cannibals in any way but we don’t know what the creator was thinking when he made this. We’ll pass on the dead horse’s heart. Next!

8. On Your Knees

We’re even surprised this inappropriate Valentine’s day card even existed. We all know what this mischievous guy wants. Even for today’s standard, this card is inappropriate for the first date. Girls, you better run away fast when someone hands you this card.

7. Bad Pirate

We all know that pirates are sinister people. Well, most of them, if they do exist. So if ever you cross paths with one during Valentine’s day, better run for your life. You wouldn’t want to spend your Valentine’s day locked inside a pirate’s ship.

6. Do Things

Well, there’s no need to explain this card. Whether before or now, this card is definitely inappropriate. Now we know what this guy’s plans for Valentine’s day. But this lady doesn’t seem to mind at all.

5. Ashes To Ashes

Did this guy just murder a woman? He seems unhappy with his relationship so he disposed of her. Even this puppy is cautious getting near this guy. These cards look innocent but when you look closely it’s 50 shades darker.

4. Suicidal 

We get it that sunk rhymes with skunk, but this is way too dark for a Valentine’s day card. Whoever thought of this one must be having some relationship problems and is feeling depressed.

3. The Worm

Hmmm, this guy has some infidelity tendencies. He loves his Valentine, but there’s a tendency to look for other women if he’s not treated right. Uh-oh. His date better treat him right or else he’ll squirm away like a worm.

2. Love Potion

This witch is cooking up a storm. We’re all no strangers to love potions. She’s so desperate for her to be liked by her valentine that she needs a potion to smite him. Guys, better be careful when a woman gives you something this Valentine’s day, there could be voodoo magic in it!

1. Jealous Much

We can’t have it all in life. That’s just reality. This card is perfect for those who were rejected. But this little missy took it too far this time. Guys and gals, better watch your back when you’re out on a date, you’ll never know who could be stalking you.

What Weird And Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards these are. Whoever made these could be broken-hearted, desperate or perverted. Valentine’s day is supposed to be romantic and sweet but these cards are way too much.

We’re just happy that these vintage cards no longer exists. It could spell disaster for your potential date. Better stick to flowers, chocolates, and stuffed toys. Or if you’re feeling fancy, a romantic dinner for two in an expensive restaurant. These are no fail ways to your valentine’s heart.

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