Sometimes it’s not obvious that someone is killing it in the bedroom. It’s easy to get lost in unrealistic expectations. If you’re sexually active, you might compare your sex life to your friends, or if you’re in a couple, to other couples. There’s also extreme exaggerations of what a healthy sex life looks like thanks to TV and movies. In reality, you may have an awesome sex life already.
Here are the tell tale signs you’ve actually got pretty a pretty sweet bedroom setup already!
10. You’re Secure With Your Sexuality
Nothing says you’re having a rocking good time with your significant other more than being secure in the bedroom. If you feel attractive and desirable in bed, odds are you’re going to have a healthy and satisfying sex life. According to sex therapist Jane Greer, “The key to maintaining this confidence is staying proactive in expressing (and acting upon) your desires to sexually connect with your partner.”
It’s not enough to feel confident in the bedroom. Click to slide 8 to find out what else you need for a decent sex life.
9. You Have An O
Okay, so we’re not going to say that orgasms are the most important facet of having a decent sex life. There’s so much more to sex than having an orgasm, but it’s pretty high up there on the list. According to sexologist Carol Queen, “The absence of orgasm is a signal that something else is missing.” So what could be missing? Click to the next slide to find out.
8. You Get Deep (Not Like That, Perv)
When it comes to connecting in the bedroom it isn’t just about the physical. If you go deep emotionally with your partner, it’s going to be a more intense experience. You can achieve this by talking about your feelings or discussing mundane details about your life. Clinical Sexologist Debra Laino says to “spend at least an hour per week catching up.”
If you can achieve this, then the point on the next slide will come easy.
7. You Schedule It. Seriously, This Author Says So!
Sometimes life can take us away from sex, but it’s important you don’t lose sight of satisfying each other. If you make sex a priority, even if you have to schedule it, it might go a long way. Author Ava Cadell says, “When couples do this, it’s a sign that they want to please each other.” Doing this might naturally lead you to the next slide.
6. You Do It On The Reg
The best part of prioritizing sex is being intimate on a regular basis. Hitting your “sex quota” is a great indication that you’re really having a good time with your partner. Dry spells happen to everyone, but you don’t want it to be prolonged. Psychotherapist Kelley Kitley says taking the initiative during a dry spell will keep you on track.
It isn’t just about sex with a partner. Slide 4 suggests you may have to focus on yourself.
5. You Get A Little Dirty
As we discussed, communicating with your partner is key, but there’s also something else that comes into play. When it comes to being vocal in the bedroom, sometimes that means spicing up your vocabulary. While you might not be comfortable with dirty talk, sending a sext may excite your partner in ways you can’t predict. Sex therapists say this keeps the atmosphere “simmering.”
4. You Masturbate A Lot
It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but having good sex isn’t just about communicating with your partner. Sometimes it comes down to getting to know yourself. Masturbating on the reg gives one a sense of what they like in the bedroom. Sex therapist Kat Van Kirk says, “More masturbation leads to more partnered sex. Win/win.”
This leads to our next slide.
3. You Know What You Like
Having a healthy sex life means knowing what you like and what you don’t like. That means you must know how to ask what you like when it comes to getting down. According to sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, “Good sex is all about finding your perfect recipe.”
There’s still one point we haven’t covered, and it’s the most important, but you’ll have to keep reading for that one.
2. You Switch It Up Sometimes
When couples get into a pattern of decent sex, it can feel monotonous. If you want to succeed in the bedroom, you need to change it up once in a while. That means trying new things which may open you up to new discoveries. Who doesn’t love that?
You’re almost there! Click to our last slide to see the most important key to good sex.
1. You’re Happy Together
Sex works if you’re actually happy with the person you’re having sex with. Sure, this seems like a no-brainer, but if you’re having lousy sex with someone, there might be a bigger indication that something more serious is going on. Feeling good with that special someone is going to translate to better sex. Simple as that.
As you can tell, there are a lot of key factors that go into good sex. Keep in mind, you’re not going to have spectacular sex every time. You may not even orgasm every time, but if you have at least two or three of these things going for you and your partner, whether it’s a long relationship or a quick hook up, you’re bound to be satisfied in the bedroom. So, what are you waiting for? Put these tips to the test! You probably won’t be disappointed.
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