So you are an excited bride to be. You are looking for that perfect gown in bridal magazines and watching things to do with big days on sitcoms. However, amid all the excitement, one thing is wrong-your heart does not feel right. For some reason you are doubtful about the turn your life is about to take and your feet are frozen. This can only mean one thing; there’s trouble in paradise.
All these doubts make it difficult for you to envision a new, shared future. But there’s part of you that wonders if calling it quits after all the wedding preparations is the best option. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that should be taken seriously. If your partner has any of the tell-tale signs listed below, instead of walking towards the altar, you should be running for the door. The last thing you want is to create an unhappy future for yourself. So don’t walk down the isle.
1- An Unfaithful partner
Being cheated on is the most frustrating thing that can happen in a relationship, short of the other person dying. If your partner has cheated before-what makes you think he won’t do it again? Save yourself from the misery of spending your life that cannot remain true to you. No matter how much you love him-trust me, it’s not worth it!
2- You have different long-term goals
It’s important to be on the same page with your partner about where you want to be career-wise, geographically and financially. If he is not willing to compromise or include you in decision-making then marriage may not be the healthiest step for you two. So don’t walk down the isle then later regret it.
3- He isn’t financially independent
We all need financial help from time to time. A guy who isn’t yet ready to assume the financial responsibility of supporting a wife and her insights definitely isn’t ready for marriage. It’s probably wise to wait until he is more financially independent-a.k.a-marriage material- for the two of you to think about settling down.
4- He’s an addict
Marrying a drug or alcohol addict makes for a marriage full of instability, heartache and turmoil-not happiness. Although everyone deserves love, you can never save him from himself. Love him at a distance. It’s best to keep it moving and focus on other things in your life.
5- You are of different denominations
Different denominations means different faith and believe system in a household. While some people could make it work, a larger percentage of these couples are always unhappy because of inevitable differences. Now, I know that you cannot choose who you love but don’t walk down the isle unless you ensure you are making it permanent with one who won’t change or disrespect your faith and values.
6- It’s convenient!
Once you start seeing marriage as an obligatory step-you’ll never be happy. Only get married because it’s something you really want from the bottom of your heart. Don’t walk down the isle because you are looking for a comfortable life or because you are getting older. Do it because you genuinely want to.
7- You’re always fighting
Not getting along is the biggest tell-tale sign that you should not walk down the isle. They say, dating should be the happiest time in any relationship. If you are constantly fighting before tying the knot-the issues you are fighting about are definitely bound to get worse in a permanent union.
8- ‘You’re in love’
Thinking ‘you’re so in love’ with someone does not warrant marriage. If love was the only requisite for a hay marriage then we wouldn’t know of divorce. Make sure that this is the right guy-one that you’d spend the rest of your life with and he;d make you happy even with all the up’s and downs; he’ll still be by your side in those days that you feel like you’re falling out of love.
9- He doesn’t bring out the best in you
Ultimately, your partner is supposed to make you a better person than you were. You should be confident that having him for a partner will always bring out the best in you. If he brings out the worst in you, take a step back. Never marry a man expecting him to change.
10- If you’re having doubts…
Pay attention to your feelings. Do not ignore the doubts that you are having. You know yourself, your relationship and your partner more than anyone else. The things you’re worried about in your relationship won’t just go away after you tie the knot. If anything, these doubts and feelings of uncertainty will escalate overtime.
11- The control freak
Every woman wants to be with a man who is in control but still allows her to become an independent individual. If the man you want to marry appears to be too controlling then he probably won’t make a good life partner.
12- He’s irresponsible
Anything from losing jobs and spending money unwisely is a huge sign of trouble not far behind. A man who cannot hold a job cannot provide for his family. This means that you will have over bearing financial responsibilities. No one wants this. Choose wisely. Ensure your ‘prince charming’ is financially responsible, has a good source of income and a good head on his shoulder.
At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, you are the best judge of yourself. I doubt you love him too much as to overlook these things. Marriage should be a beautiful and selfless thing. You deserve someone who will be constant through all the hurdles that come with marriage life.Many divorcees live to tell long and sad tales of making the wrong decisions. Therefore, choose your life partner wisely.
Be 100% sure that this is a step you want to take before you exchange your wedding ring for a divorce cake! Join in the discussion and share your thoughts!