It’s a long running joke when people get married their sex life is over. There is a lot of truth to the claim. Having a sexless marriage is the number one marriage complaint on Google. It shows up three-and-a-half more times than simply having an “unhappy marriage.” These people have opened up about their struggle.
10. I Scream, You Scream…
“I try my best to never make her feel guilty for our sexless marriage, but on the inside, I just want to scream.”
Sometimes you have to let it all out. Some people find a friend. Some people find another lover. The reaction to #9 is more common than one would realize.
9. Never Say Never
“Being in sexless marriage sucks. This wasn’t what I signed up for, but I’d never leave her.”
Once all other options have been exhausted, it might be time to leave her. Staying in an unhappy marriage can have lasting effects on future relationships. No one wants to live their entire lives unhappy.
8. No, It’s Really Not Hard
“My wife doesn’t have sex with me so I’ve decided to stop caring about it but it’s hard.”
The reason why it’s hard is because you still probably care. That sort of nihilistic mentality is going to lead you to think like our subject in #7.
7. Perpetual War
“My wife and I haven’t had sex in months. She says it’s because she’s stressed about me being stressed. I’m stressed because we haven’t had sex. It’s an endless loop.”
Someone is going to have to be the adult in this situation and say that it isn’t working. Perhaps a fight and intense make-up sex?
6. Sex Can Cure That Stress
“My husband won’t have sex with me. And when I ask he says I ask too much and he’s too stressed. His rejection is really starting to hurt.”
Another stressful situation? These people should understand sex is scientifically proven to relieve stress. Don’t pass the blame like the woman in #5.
5. It’s Not Just One
“I’m in a sexless marriage. I hate it and he knows it. But he does nothing about it.”
Relationships are a two-way street. Both need to be committed and take the responsibility of making the other one happy. If he is doing nothing about it, then he probably won’t do anything about it. Take the initiative. If he doesn’t respond, then leave.
4. Don’t Stay Together For The Kids
“I want to leave my sexless marriage but I am so worried about what it will do to the children that I will probably stay.”
People who try to stay together for the kids, but remain unhappy, usually end up doing more psychological damage to the children. Otherwise, you’ll end up like #3 asking yourself the same thing repeatedly.
3. Deep Down Inside, You Know
“I don’t know how I’m going to keep going in a sexless marriage.”
This is probably the number one thing asked by people stuck in sexless marriages. It’s a question that will likely not be answered unless something changes. Time apart can give you the answer faster than you’d think.
2. Frustration Builds… And Builds…
“My husband won’t have sex with me and refuses to deal with that issue. I’m getting frustrated.”
If he’s not careful, then she will wind up with someone else. Some people will try to outlast their partner so they can say, “at least I tried.” Our next and last example found out why people cheat.
1. Why People Cheat
“I can’t believe my marriage has come to this. I can’t believe I’m in a sexless marriage at 33. He doesn’t even try anymore. What’s expected of me? Now I understand why people cheat. We all need intimacy.”
Hopefully, this is not a sign she’ll start searching or intimacy elsewhere.
Reigniting the flame of a relationship is a complicated task and requires both parties to contribute. Sometimes it just takes one sexual encounter to get things going again. The more you do it, the more you want it. The trick is to just do it.
Someone needs to take charge of keeping things hot and heavy. Dress up in leather, get out a ball gag, go buy some toys. Anything new! Start out simple snuggled up watching a movie. It only takes a minute of calendar planning to ensure there are no distractions. Remember to try different places and positions. Maybe just start with talking to your partner and really listening to what they have to say.