Beginner’s Guide For Picking Up A MILF, Man’s Ultimate Trophy

If you’re ready for a next-level dating experience, it may be time to cut bait with younger girls and start casting about for a more mature woman. A MILF is not an easy prize to reel in, but with a little good advice and some preparation (#4 is going to be key to upping your game), you may find your social life stocked up with sexy, stable women of a certain age who might show you a few new things in and out of the bedroom.

10. Upgrade Your Fishin’ Hole

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A quality MILF won’t be tipping back boozy slushies at the college daiquiri bar down the street.

Do some research and find better spots to try your luck. Try a hotel bar, a wine bar or an upscale music venue and check out events in your area at museums and galleries, comedy clubs and fitness classes.

9. Upgrade Your Equipment

PBS.com – Biodiversity Forum

Yeah, yeah, your rod is the best on the market, but you’re going to need some high grade line to even get a mature woman’s attention.

Conversation is key, so make sure you have something intelligent and real to say on current events, music, art, food, books, and film.

8. Cruise The Watering Hole

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Good fishermen get a feel for the flow of the river. Do a slow lap of the bar before you settle in.

Feel out the crowd and the vibe, and subtly check out the prospects. Don’t assume a MILF sitting alone is really alone. Drop anchor too soon, and you may find yourself face-to-fist with a husband who just stepped out to take a call.

7. Bait The Hook: Compliments And Questions

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A warm smile and, “hello” is about all you need to start a conversation.

To keep it going, ask her open questions and really listen to her answers. Don’t underestimate the power of a few compliments, but be sure to make them genuine and specific. Bonus points if you make it about her intellect or personality; “you have such an amazing understanding of Russian politics” is better than “you have such an amazing ass.”

6. Use Your Lure To Allure, Not Stun

SeekingCougar.com

Flashing cash and dropping ATM receipts is bush league.

Most mature women have their own money and toys, so bragging about yours will not impress her. Subtle displays of taste, however — nice shoes, an expensive timepiece, ordering a finer grade of scotch or a better wine — can work in your favor. Show, but don’t tell.

5. Shhhh! Don’t Frighten the Fish

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Skip the silly pickup lines and PUA tactics. A sophisticated woman has heard them all and they bore her.

Park your ego and definitely don’t fall into the “mansplaining” trap; she’ll have 20 years or more years of experience on you and can probably school you on any subject. Don’t talk your way out of a good time in your efforts to be impressive.

4. Don’t Keep Her On Ice Too Long

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If you actually land a date, don’t assume your work is done. Your prized MILF will slip on her Jimmy Choos and jump right back out of your boat at any time.

Call her when you said you would. Do not blow off any plans you make. If you can’t follow through, she’s going to see you as a flaky kid and drop you. You will not get a second chance.

3. Be Prepared: Carry Your Rain Gear At All Times

The Lingerie Addict

Don’t be coy about being prepared for sex. Have a few condoms on you just in case you have a lucky streak.

Health studies show STI’s are on the rise in the over-40 crowd, and women can still be at risk for pregnancy in their mid-to late 40’s. Your MILF won’t think you’re presumptuous; she’ll think you’re smart. Plus, you save yourself any embarrassment should she guess wrong about your, ahem, sizing.

2. Be Honest: Catch And Release Or Wall Mount?

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Women over 40 don’t want to waste time and most welcome a man who can be direct.

If you’re not looking for a relationship and just want a night (or two) of no-strings sex, say so. Just keep it classy. If you are looking something long-term, be honest about that too. She might or might not be on the same page, but she’ll never leave you in doubt.

1. You’re A Natural; Act Like It

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Be yourself. Don’t try to pretend to be more sophisticated or knowledgeable than you are; pretense will turn her off.

Know nothing about wine? Order craft beer and tell her about your brewery-hopping trip to Portland. She’s talking summer books? Counter with summer movies that have similar themes. Be charming, keep her entertained and feeling appreciated and you’ll be showing off your prize catch in no time.

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