Sometimes, whether you’re on the internet or hanging with friends, a certain thought will be expressed. This thought might be profound or pure nonsense, straddling a fine line that leads straight into the depths of mental immobility.
What we’re trying to say is: sometimes people say things that makes your brain take a swan dive into the deep end of the pool, waving goodbye as it sinks to the bottom. These are the kind of thoughts that evoke facepalms and genuine curiosity in equal measure. They might be dangerous, but we think they’re worth it for the fun alone.
Prepare your mind, perhaps with a glass of whiskey, then proceed. There are weird waters ahead!
1. I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it actually is.
We’re not experts on the subject, but there might be a grain of truth here. Then again, we think being friendly and polite is probably a much easier way to find niceness out there in the world!
2. USB sounds like a backup, in case the USA fails.
Hey, it might just be an innocent plug for phones and computers, but who are we to shoot down the idea? It might be a good plan, after all!
3. Mars is populated entirely by robots!
This one is just straight up true. It’s funny to think that, as kids watching Transformers, we dreamed of a planet of robots, never thinking it’d come true. Here we are!
4. Art is how we decorate space; music is how we decorate time.
If you swallow the adage that art is merely decoration, then music can be sonic wallpaper. And how do we measure music? With the movement of time. It’s a fun way to picture things, although personally we think music can be far more important, if we let it be!
5. “I wonder what my dog named me.”
They don’t speak English, and they certainly don’t understand everything we tell them, but doesn’t it sound pretty reasonable that our dogs have some concept of a name for us? They’d have to make one up; it’s not like we introduce ourselves when we meet a dog.
6. If Obama was the president of Kenya, he’d be their first white president.
While we question the dubious place this phrase came from, we have to nod and smile at the truth in it! As a man of mixed-race heritage, the President of the United States would in fact be the first white president of Kenya.
7. If Drake and Taylor Swift went out, we’d hear both sides of the breakup.
With both musicians a little too well-known for spilling their relationship secrets on tape, we can only imagine the juicy details that would emerge, set to energetic beats, if they dated and parted ways!
8. “I didn’t exist in your world until you read this sentence of mine.”
Here’s one of those infinitely simple but generously fun thought experiments that can be reeled off in a few seconds, yet leave someone thinking for hours.
9. What if the lottery is an institution to catch time travelers?
If this was true, it’d be a fantastic trick! Aside from sports betting, the lottery would be the one go-to way to make some easy cash for a time traveler.
10. Thanks to the word “indescribable” there’s nothing that can’t be described.
As the saying goes, this one is pretty self explanatory. It’s almost annoying, but it’s true!
11. If the toys in Toy Story died, the kids would keep playing with them like normal, but the other toys would be playing with their dead friends.
Perhaps the most morbid thought we’ve had all day, this one made our inner childhoods recoil just a bit. We reassure ourselves by remembering, hey, they’re basically immortal anyway!
12. If we had no eyes then we would be unaware of the existence of color. What if we are missing an entire aspect of reality simply because we do not have the organs to detect it?
This is our absolute favorite thought today, mainly because it’s an important one. Also, it’s incredibly true! Our scientific instruments are able to detect myriad aspects of reality that we can’t taste, touch, see, smell, or hear. Even more, we might not even have designed the right instruments to detect even further reaches of reality, because we can’t even fathom that far.
13. We will never hear about the truly perfect crime.
They say that there are still so many mistakes made when someone attempts the perfect crime. But what happens when it actually was “perfect”? No one ever notices. Even years down the line, if the crime remains perfect, that means nobody ever finds out. Kind of fun to think of.
14. Life on Earth is the cosmic equivalent of what happens when you don’t store things in a cool, dry place.
This one is 100% true! For billions of years nothing happened here. But once we had some water, a bit of bacteria formed and… you know how easily that got out of hand!
15. When you lay on the ground on your back, it’s like the world becomes your backpack, and you’re carrying it through space.
We tried as hard as we could to find an exact image of this, but it simply wasn’t happening. But picture it yourself. Maybe it helps if you imagine being hundreds of miles tall?
16. It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.
As the old adage goes, “never argue with an idiot. He’ll bring you down to his level, and beat you with experience!”
17. Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
Well now we know a phrase that we’re going to irritate our friends with for a few weeks! Palindromes are fun enough; palindrome sentences? Golden!
18. At a top speed of 27.44 miles per hour, it is illegal for Usain Bolt to run in a school zone.
We can’t imagine the policeman brave enough to actually give him a ticket, or fast enough to catch him.
19. In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
Our resident paintball expert says that this isn’t a great idea, but we can’t deny the appeal. Imagine running out of paint balls just when the enemy is approaching. What do you do? Pull out the ol’ brush and stick ’em!
20. Imagine being completely naked in a room full of people speaking a different language, and everyone wants to touch you. This is life as a dog.
We imagine they look around and see a bunch of weirdly clothed, tall beings shouting unintelligible phrases, occasionally punctuated by keywords like “food” or “outside,” but what do we know? Also, here’s a corgi wearing a shark costume.
At this point, we can say that our brains have officially melted, slipped off the diving board, and sank directly to the bottom. The above thoughts may not be the depth of profundity, but they certainly might make your friends’ heads spin at the pub!