In this day and age, we would like to believe that everyone is colorblind, but that’s simply not true. There’s still ignorance that’s embedded in some people’s minds, which leads to hate speech and unwarranted judgment. Because of this, being in an interracial relationship sometimes comes with a unique set of challenges that many people in same-race couplings may not even have to think about. In a world where tensions are high due to race, class, and gender, some interracial couples have shared stories about their own problems dealing with discrimination because of who they love.
For a problem we’d hope is well behind us, some of these confessions (especially #5) are completely heartbreaking.
15. Losing A Family
In this heartbreaking confession, one-half of an interracial couple wondered if his/her parents will ever accept the relationship that they’re keeping a secret. “My parents have always made racist jokes. I wonder if I’m still going to have a family when they find out I’m in an interracial relationship.” Going by the confession, it’s easy to see why this has been something they’re holding back.
14. Boyfriend Or Friend?
Sometimes racism is so subtle and ingrained in our society that people don’t even know they’re being racist. One individual’s mother claimed she wasn’t racist, but when it came to accepting their interracial relationship, she’s in denial. The user wrote that the mother “refers to my boyfriend as ‘my friend.'”
13. Ignorance In All Forms
Ignorance exists in all forms, and sometimes when people show their true selves it can be jarring. One individual wrote of their experience, “I’m in an interracial relationship with the most amazing man and today someone said something awful about him to me for the first time. They can’t take our happiness or love away.”
12. Silent Racism
Sometimes racism exhibited by others doesn’t have to be loud. The judgments that people put on each other can be as silent as a sneer or a nasty look. One such confession highlighted the difficulty that they deal with due to being in an interracial relationship. “Been in an interracial relationship for over a year, and we get the stares. I wish we didn’t.”
11. Talking About Race
Because of the pressures that society puts on race relations, sometimes interracial relationships have their own set of obstacles inside the actual relationship. One confession reflected on their most troubling aspect, “I’m in an interracial relationship and I’m afraid to talk about race to my boyfriend.” Imagine having those walls up in your own relationship!
10. When They Go Low You Go High
The way someone deals with racism says a lot about a person. As FLOTUS Michelle Obama said, “When they go low, you go high.” This individual definitely went high when she experienced racism. She wrote about her experience, saying “I’m in an interracial relationship. When waitresses are very rude to us, I tip in hopes that they will feel guilty.”
9. Meeting Racism With Humor
Other times, when it comes to dealing with racism, some people find the humor in it, so that they can carry on with their day. One person in an interracial relationship tries to see the positive side: “I’m in an interracial relationship, and I think it’s hilarious when we get judgmental stares from other interracial couples.”
8. A Slap On The Back
Sometimes people might mean well, but miss the mark. At times, acceptance of a relationship from friends and family sounds a bit like a slap in the face for entering into an interracial relationship, as if it was a choice to begin with. One user explained, “I wish people would stop saying, ‘Good for you’ when they find out I’m in an interracial relationship.”
7. Judgmental Family Members
Some people dread getting together with their family for dinners or gatherings due to the judgment they receive about who they love. As one interracial partner wrote, “I love my family to death, but they are incredibly judgmental of my interracial relationship. I almost can’t stand going to family dinners anymore.”
6. Fear Of Race
Sometimes racism isn’t born out of hatred, but out of fear. One individual explained that her family is afraid of her significant other. “My family is scared of my boyfriend because he is a different race. I hope they can come to accept and respect him because he is wonderful.”
5. Ending It All
The struggle of being in an interracial relationship is so difficult that one interracial partner wondered if he or she should just save themselves the grief of the relationship. They wrote, “I’m in an interracial relationship. My whole family hates me. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just end it.”
4. Love Is Love
Some confessions can be very empowering. One user decided to air out their frustrations over having to deal with people being uncomfortable about their relationship. The user wrote, “My interracial relationship shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable. If it does then you need Jesus. Love is love no matter the color.”
3. A Life Of Fear
Sometimes the way some people in the world react to interracial relationships have others fearing for the worst. One person explained the trepidation that comes with being in an interracial relationship. “I fell in love with someone of a different race. I fear that we have a life ahead of us of constant judgment.”
2. Fired Over Love
We’re pretty sure this one should be reported to HR. This individual explained that they were let go from their job for a very surprising reason. The anonymous person revealed, “I was fired from my job because my boss didn’t approve of the fact that I am in an interracial relationship.”
1. No PDAs
One of the most heartbreaking confessions from someone in an interracial relationship goes to the person who wrote about their boyfriend that won’t show affection in public. She confessed, “My boyfriend doesn’t hold my hand in public, shows no PDA, and doesn’t ever want to take pictures with me. We’re an interracial couple and I feel he’s embarrassed because I’m black.”
Most of these heartbreaking stories from people in interracial couples were based on racism. Some of these stories are so heartbreaking because the fear and intimidation comes from the people closest to them, like family and friends. That said, racism can’t be summed up in a few sentences. How it exists between people isn’t cut and dry. Racism looks different on everyone. It can be brought out in exchanges that are either very vocal, or in silent stares. Just as it’s difficult to break racism down to one thing, some people find it even harder to bridge the color lines to understand where people of different walks of life come from. Hopefully these people were able to get closure from revealing their deepest secrets.